Labor Day

I feel like I cannot escape.  I walk alone through this world and try to remember to stop and smell the roses.  I crave the cleansing flood of my own honesty.  I understand that if your heart doesn't break you can't be free.  I've called out to my past.  I've prayed for my future.  And I can't see over the wall.. I cannot jump it, I cannot climb it and I cannot tear it down.

I see the hopeful sunrise across its height every morning.  Every night I see the same sun fall....beaten beneath its depth.  My heart needs to feel these things that I cannot control.  My mind needs to see the things that I cannot change and that I cannot abide.

My skin needs to shake off the chill of this Sunday.  My lungs need to breathe free of the pollution of my yesterday.  I've been left unattended.  I've been thrown like cards. I've been rolled with the punches.  I've been crossed by the wire.  I've been blinded by the light. I've been burned by the fire.  I've been kept out of sight.  I've fallen backwards into heaven and face first into hell.

It's going to be alright.  It never has been.  It never will be. So be it.

So I drink.  I drink to the sunshine.  I drink to the shade.  I drink to the madness. I drink, okay?

I met a girl on Wednesday.  She told me I was alive - I told her she was wrong.  She held my hand.  She gave me hope and a # that I couldn't call.  I secretly told her that I was (invisible). I walked away.  I cinched up my blindfold and walked away, blind. Alone.  Empowered.  Imprisoned.  Alive.  Dead.

I've taken...been taken by many lovers.  I was...I am taken by you.  I never showed you the drawings I did of the most beautiful girl in the world.  It was always you. But you could never see that everything I ever did or saw looked just like you. You were my girl, in every way - -perfect. You were perfect to me.  Yes, I'm an asshole but I know what I know, you were perfect.