5 May historically is the day that (legend has it) some 30-odd Mexican soldiers defeated an invading French force of more than 10,000 near
Puebla, Mexico. It was more like 4,000 to 8,000 but still an
impressive victory for an undermanned, under-equipped Mexican army. So why do we care? It's Mexican Independence Day, right? Nope! The Battle of Puebla happened 50+ years after that historic fact. We care because it’s a helluva an excuse to
get rip-roaring in celebration. We are
Americans – that’s what we do. We care
for the same reason that countless thousands of non Irish-Americans celebrate
St. Patrick’s Day. Those with Irish
heritage make up about 12 % of the U.S. population but this country drowns
in green beer 17 March every year. I
think we would celebrate the Tet Offensive if someone told us we should…a
rattlesnake’s birthday? Sure. Why not? That’s what we do!
Cinco de Mayo apparently isn’t even observed in Mexico
outside of the Free and Sovereign State of Puebla. What our collective tequila-addled minds
forget (or don’t realize) is that we actually should celebrate Cinco de Mayo as an American holiday. Had Ignacio Zaragoza not led his troops to
victory that day, the United
States would have been a different
place. Possibly, there would be no such
thing as the United States
of America as we know it. The French, led by Napoleon III (the famous
short guy’s nephew), had a singular
objective for invading Mexico in my opinion – to gain a foothold in North
America close enough to the U.S. to alter the outcome of the Civil War. The 5 May in question occurred in 1862 by the
way, just a month after the South's narrow defeat at the Battle of Shiloh and just before Stonewall Jackson would forcibly evict Union
forces from the Shenandoah Valley. The Confederates were on a roll and the
French wanted a piece of that action.
What France
really wanted was to strike a blow at the United States without having to
fight them directly. If the Battle of
Puebla ends differently, the French would have advanced farther north into Mexico and
would have established a base of operations from which they could have continually
resupplied the Confederate Army.
Invariably, French troops would have been added to the mix. IF
either happens there is a better than average chance that the South wins the
damn thing! Imagine this country if that
unthinkable had come to pass.
Had the South been able to win the war under this scenario
they would have owed their independence
to a French command that had designs on nothing less than dominant imperialism. They certainly didn’t share the values the Confederates held dear. So if the South wins, there would be a necessary
payback, right? If the South wins, Jefferson
Davis would have been replaced with a sympathizing puppet leader and the French
would have successfully broken the Union. A divided country would not have withstood
that pressure on the heels of a devastating civil war. At the time, France
held one of the strongest armies in the free world and would have certainly
exerted that power against a defeated Northern Army and eventually colonized
these great United. If the South wins,
we are all speaking French with a wicked Southern drawl and what we know and
love as the United States of
America would have never fulfilled its destiny as a world superpower. I’m from the South and
I can report that Cinco de Mayo is vigorously embraced and observed by these chuckleheads.
If they really knew what was being celebrated the 5th of May would be epic! (Nobody really likes the French after all.)
Some historians believe Zaragoza and Lincoln
should equally share credit for preserving the Union. I tend to agree with that evaluation. So as you suck down your watery margarita and
your obligatory fish taco take a second and raise a glass to my good buddy Iggy Zaragoza and our Mexican
compatriots. Without their bravery and resolve that day back in 1862 we might not be who we think we
are today.
Enjoy your queso.
Ignacio Zaragoza
24 March 1829 – 8 September 1862
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